Guest Blogger: Vincent!
First of all--shout out to Meghan! I'm sad that St. Paul stole her away from me :-(. I'm posting on this song for two reasons: 1) as homage to Meggo who got me addicted to the other Black Kids song, "I'm Not Going To Teach Your Boyfriend How To Dance" which was also blogged on this site by Kim. The second reason is because I'm a douche bag and I want to make it known how douche-bag-ey I am.
Okay, pay attention--this is important. I have a mild case of phallophobia. Phallophobia being an irrational fear of an erect penis. I say mild because I love penis. And erect ones are more fun. What scares me is the person attached to the penis (and if you're wondering--we are in fact attached to our genitalia, not the other way around.) Generally speaking, straight boys scare me and gay boys intimidate me. While I'm slowly overcoming this particular disorder, I still make every effort to avoid them.
Having my degree of phallophobia doesn't lend itself to talking to boys that I find attractive. So here we are at my housewarming party last week, and hottie-mchotterson walks into my door. My housemate, Laura, invites her friend, E, who unbeknownst to us, invites hottie-mchotterson to the party. Laura and I have talked about this particular guy, and she's put her feelers out for me, only as a loyal friend would. And look--here he is, in my house, sitting on the furniture I helped arrange, eating the food I helped prepare, breathing the oh so temperate air I helped set (thanks thermostat!). He and E are at our house for hours, chatting up other friends, eating cherry tomatoes and hummus, drinking fine sangria...and here I am awestruck at his presence... what do I say? I say, "Hi! Can I get you something? No? Okay" and scamper off behind the protection of the kitchen. The only confidence I could conjure up was in making eye contact, about two times...hence, the song: I'm Making Eyes At You. Lookie-dat, I am a douche!
Hope you find as much pleasure in this song as you find pleasure in my pain :-/.
I'm Making Eyes At You :: Black Kids
So you want my affection?
We both know you'll only throw it away,
But if you must have a go, fine, ok!
If you must have a go, then go away!
I'm making eyes at you,
I've been making these eyes now, making these eyes since '82.
I've making them green and gray and brown and delta blue.
I'm reciting the mantra, but I can't tell you,
because you're missing me, thats all you'll ever be.
Please don't, please don't speak.
Last night has no doubts.
In between the dreams.
Even as we speak.
You're missing me, you're not missing much,
You're sleepy panda eyes, those dangerous thighs you dare to touch.
You are the wildest one, but you're the one I want.
I'm making eyes at you, that's all I ever do.
Please don't, please don't speak.
Last night has no doubts.
In between the dreams.
Even as we speak.
So you want my affection?
We both know you'll only throw it away,
But if you must have a go, fine, ok!
If you must have a go, then go away!
Please don't, please don't speak.
Last night has no doubts.
In between the dreams.
Even as we speak.
No comments:
Post a Comment