Cherry Blossom Girl :: Air

First, I really need to start writing my blogs earlier than the day they're due. Second, I really have a kick ass girlfriend. (She totally is making me dinner right now and cleaned my apt. and just totally surprised me w/some amazing food and relaxation!!) Third, calm music is necessary...when working with students (of all ages I presume!). I really love my new job and things are going well, but boy is it stressful to just jump in during the middle of things!

I digress...

Today's Song of the Day comes from AIR, a French music duo. AIR is really a backronym for Amour, Imagination, Rêve which translates to Love, Imagination, Dream. Neato!

I just really dig this song and it was playing when I came home and found the Kelselator cookin me some fantastic soup and mixing up some margaritas!

Hope y'all enjoy :)
The end.
Love,
Meggo.



Cherry Blossom Girl :: Air

I don't think I feel like being shy
Don't think I wanna stand here anymore
I just wanna say hi to the one I love
Tell my Cherry Blossom Girl
This is true

I never talk to you, people say I should
I just wanna go out and go for it
Just wanna be sure that people are on my side (not sure about these lyrics)
Tell my Cherry Blossom Girl
This is true
This is true
This is true
This is true

Lover Lay Down :: Dave Matthews & Tim Reynolds

for many years, i have avoided listening to Dave Matthews. it is not to say that i do not enjoy his music, but speaks more to the fact that i went to Luther College - a place that has more DMB fans than anywhere else on the planet (i am convinced) and i did not want to be a part of that craze - instead i joined camps with the Church of Ani DiFranco...what can i say? i'm a lesbian and a feminist and have spent many years surrounding myself with women's music...

i digress...

this past weekend, i decided it was time to give dave a chance (especially since i have had so many of my friends tell me about how great he is in the recent months). despite my avid avoidance of him, i own a surprisingly large number of his albums...and, because i went to Luther College, i of course have the first live concert recorded by this dynamic guitar duo: Live at Luther College.

i was house/cat sitting for my friend this past weekend, and she let me borrow her car, so while i took the time to drive from my house to hers, i made sure to grab my Luther College CD case and i put the first CD in it into the CD player and let loose. as i was driving, i found myself really getting into Dave and Tim. it was precisely at the moment of track 8 on disc 1 of the Live at Luther College CD that i knew i had to blog about the experience.

i think what i enjoyed the most from this experience was that it was just Dave and Tim playing their guitars and singing. i have never really heard Dave's music w/o his full band and there was something really intimate and unique...and less...(i know i will probably get in trouble for this one) produced...

anyway, this particular song resonated with me, hence my sharing it with y'all today. i dig the simplicity of the bass line and how it reflects a sort of climbing up...moving forward sensation. but the combination of this bass line with the melody and the lyrics create another layer onto this sense of progress...and turns into something calming...i think that was what drew me to this song...it is calm...and perhaps i am reading too much into it, but for me, i feel that it is not just any sort of calm, it is a patient calm...and that is what i am most needing in my life at the moment. this year has brought about many changes and i am looking forward to the progress that comes with change, but am also stuck in this 6 month limbo of getting to where i know i'm supposed to be, rather than where i am at the moment...i need a patient sense of calm while i move forward with the changes that will shortly ensue in my life...

again i digress....

this song has been on repeat all weekend, and into this week...and will probably make its way into my daily playlist of 'must hear' songs...consider myself a new follower of Dave...i'm still green and learning and deciding how strongly i feel about him, but i do know that he is very talented and amazing...and deserves some credit...he got this 'ladies primarily' music listening lesbo to stop and pay attention. that's gotta be worth something, right?

the end.
love,
meggo.


Lover Lay Down :: Dave Matthews & Tim Reynolds
Spring sweet rhythm dance in my head
Slip into my lovers hands
Kiss me won't you kiss me now
And sleep I would inside your mouth
Don't be us too shy
Knowing it's no big surprise
That I will wait for you
I will wait for no one but you

Oh please lover lay down
Spend this time with me
Together share this smile
Lover lay down
Spend this time with me

Walk with me, walk with you
Hold my hands your hands
So much we have dreamed
And we were so much younger
It's hard to explain that we've grown stronger

A million reasons life to deny
Let's toss them away
See you and me we
Lay down look see
She and (s)he (meggo edit)
By my lovers side
Together share this smile
Lover lay down

Oh please oh please
Please lover lay down
Oh please lover lay down
And you weep lover lay down
Cause it's over lover lay down
Say love, say love, say love, say love, say love

Could I love you
Could you love me
Could I love you
Could you love me
Could I love you
Could you love me
Could I love you
Could you love me

Darling it's all the same
All the same 'til we dance away
Chasing me all around
Leading me all around
Leading me all around in circles
Chasing me all around
Leading me all around in circles
Say.......


(the song starts around the 50 second mark)

Beloved One :: Ben Harper

sometimes you don't even need to explain why some songs are worth listening to...

sorry for the late post y'all...but here's my song of the day.

i've been listening to a lot of new music thanks to pandora.com! but when this one came on, it grabbed my attention fully...its simplicity, its lyrics...just a voice and a guitar and sincere feelings...all of these things are what make this song beautiful.

hopefully you'll agree!
the end.
love,
meggo




Beloved One :: Ben Harper
We have both been here before
Knockin upon loves door
Begging for someone to let us in
Knowing this we can agree to keep each other company
Never to go down that road again

My beloved one, my beloved one

Your eyes shine through me
You are so divine to me
Your heart has a home in mine
We wont have to say a word
With a touch all shall be heard
When I search my heart its you I find

My beloved one, my beloved one, my beloved one

You were meant for me,
I believe you were sent to me from a dream straight into
To my arms
Hold your body close to me
You mean the most to me
We will keep each other safe from harm

My beloved one, my beloved one, my beloved one

Options :: Pedro the Lion

Pedro the Lion (aka David Bazan and a shifting crew of other musicians) tends towards kind of dark, first person narrative songs. The songs typically are about relationships, though there are some Pedro songs written about more political topics. When I say the songs are about relationships, I mean they're usually about shitty relationships, adultery/cheating, the difficult aspects of relationships, or the end of relationships. So you know, really uplifting stuff.

Part of what I enjoy about Pedro the Lion actually has nothing to do with the lyrics, David Bazan's voice is soothing to me, and I like the indie-rock sensibility of the music. On a lyrical front, David Bazan writes lyrics that are pointed without being overly dramatic or beating you over the head with metaphors. The songs will often use a slight bit of sarcasm or self-deprecation when tackling difficult topics. I also enjoy the fact that Pedro the Lion songs take on topics that a lot of bands, especially bands with dudes, won't touch. The bonus song at the bottom of the post, "when they really get to know you they will run" is a good example of this.

Apologies, I could only find a live recording of the song. It's not a bad recording, it's just slightly different than the version off the album "Control," and the vocals could be turned up just a touch. Anyways. Enjoy!


We were walking, holding hands,
with our bare feet in the sand
and the seagulls overhead
when I broke the spell and said
"I could never divorce you without a good reason
and though I may never have to,
it's good to have options
But for now, oh, I need you
But for now, oh, I need you
But for now, oh, I need you

But it was only in my head
because no one ever says
what they really mean to say
when there's so much at stake
So I told her I loved her and she told me she loved me
and I mostly believed her and she mostly believed me


And as a bonus prize, here's the song "when they really get to know you they will run" because I couldn't decide whether to blog about "options" or this song!

Noticed :: Mute Math

my sincerest apologies for being entirely late with this post...but as of today, i am no longer a student! i have completed my master's degree program in sociology so now it's time to find a job...so, hopefully i will be on time from now on!

anyway, i want to talk about a (new to me) band that my roommate passed onto me. this group is called Mute Math and they're from New Orleans, Louisiana. if you have a special place in your heart for the 80's and the music that era produced, then you will hopefully dig this group!

this group caught my attention upon the first 4 seconds of hearing them for many reasons, including the following:

a driving drum beat
catchy lyrics and melody
kickin bass lines
sweet guitar licks
counting out loud
and last but not least...a keyboard guitar


hopefully y'all will enjoy this song and this band as much as i do. special shout out to my roommate for passing this group onto me!!

the end.
<3,
meggo.




or...check out this sweet live video!


Noticed::Mute Math
Careful when you open
It's easy to be broken
In the strangest fashion
You start a chain reaction
When you look my way
Something's pounding away
And I wonder if I ever felt this before

And all this time oblivious to what you make so obvious
I can't believe I never noticed my heart before

You are reaching for something that is beating
I can't believe I never noticed my heart before
Over and again racing out of my skin
I can't believe I never noticed my heart before

At least it was never until I noticed you
And your ways capture what I've misplaced
In the perfect fashion
Just watch my hearts reaction
This point of view is nothing that I'm used to
But I won't close my eyes cause they're onto you

And all this time it was staring me blind
I can't believe I never noticed my heart before

You are reaching for something that is beating
I can't believe I never noticed my heart before
Over and again racing out of my skin
I can't believe I never noticed my heart before

At least it was never until I noticed you
Woah-oh
The only time I ever noticed my heart was when I noticed you-yeah
The only time I ever noticed my heart was when I noticed you-yeah
You-yeah, you YEAH!

1-2-3!

You are reaching for something that is beating
I can't believe I never noticed my heart before
Over and again racing out of my skin
I can't believe I never noticed my heart before

Till I noticed you-yeah
I noticed you-yeah
You, yeah
When I noticed you-yeah
I noticed you-yeah
That's the only time I ever noticed my heart before



Check out more Mute Math!!!

Love Will Tear Us Apart :: Joy Division

Today I'm following the example of the amazing and nifty Kim who blogs on this website on Thursdays. Namely, I'm gonna blog about the song "Love Will Tear Us Apart" by Joy Division, but I'm including several covers that I enjoy.
First, a little bit about Joy Division. I know, I know many people are familiar with them, but bear with me. Joy Division formed in 1976 under the moniker Warsaw. Their music evolved out of punk rock, and they're credited with developing the beginnings of the post punk music of the 70s. They had released their debut album in 1979, entitled Unknown Pleasures, and started to be noticed by the British press. Unfortunately, Ian Curtis, lead singer suffered from epilepsy and severe depression. He also reportedly had a lot of issues in his marriage, and the song "Love Will Tear Us Apart" is said to reflect his frustration with that relationship. He committed suicide in the spring of 1980, one month after "Love Will Tear Us Apart" was released as a single. Ironically, this track was the first Joy Division song to chart in the UK, and was their most successful single. The other members of Joy Division went on to form the band New Order.

The first cover of the song I'm posting is by Susanna and the Magical Orchestra. The first time I heard this song I was confused because it seemed so familiar, but I couldn't place it. Then I realized it was a cover of "Love Will Tear Us Apart" and was pretty astonished that Susanna was able to pull of such a stylistically different cover of the song. Then again, when you completely shift the musical style of the song, those tend to be the best covers.

The second cover is The Cure. This one has more subtle differences from the Joy Division version, but it is by The Cure and they do have a different style from Joy Division. And it's The Cure and they're neat.

Ok. So now the lyrics.

When the routine bites hard
And ambitions are low
And the resentment rides high
But emotions wont grow
And we're changing our ways,
Taking different roads
Then love, love will tear us apart again

Why is the bedroom so cold
Turned away on your side?
Is my timing that flawed,
Our respect run so dry?
Yet there's still this appeal
That we've kept through our lives
Love, love will tear us apart again

Do you cry out in your sleep
All my failings exposed?
Get a taste in my mouth
As desperation takes hold
How is it something so good
Just can't function no more?
When love, love will tear us apart again

Joy Division - The original version of the song. Hurray!


Susanna and the Magical Orchestra


The Cure

I Can Breathe Underwater :: Fitzgerald

I have wanted to blog about these guys for a while now, but I haven't been able to find the time, or a video on YouTube/Myspace/what have you. So, if you want to hear, "I Can Breathe Underwater" from their Raised by Wolves Album, you'll have to go to their MYSPACE page. Huge hassle, I know... :) Otherwise, you can hear some of their other great songs by clicking on the videos below.

My best friend Jess originally introduced me to Fitzgerald when I first moved up here to Minnesota a few years ago. They have been with me through many road trips, cold winter days, and lazy weekend afternoons. The band consists primarily of the most adorable husband and wife duo, EVER, and they alternately perform alone and with other members of the Minneapolis musical community. I have now attempted to see them live like 3 times, and by insane acts of habeas corpus, I have not successfully been able to, but their stuff rocks!
The song I chose particularly resonates with me because of its content and the way it radiates peace. It's really hard to find good love songs that aren't cheesy or about a love that's more like infatuation, but "I Can Breathe Underwater" is about a love that's comfortable and deep. It's about being with someone that you feel safe with, close with, and someone that you love to sleep next to, just to feel them breathe. To dream next to someone is wonderful, but to be able to exist in that dream with them, in a place of bodily suspension, a space where the wounds inflicted by the world can be healed, and tangled limbs and hair can be be discerned through the ripples on the surface, is to experience great love. :)

Unfortunately, Fitzgerald is no longer, but they have a new band, with a very similar sound, called Ghost in the Water. Their stuff is great as well and you can find their page HERE.

I Can Breathe Underwater::Fitzgerald
I can breathe underwater
I can breathe underwater
I can breath underwater
Breathing all by myself

At night, when you are sleeping
I'll be under the river
Looking at the stones and
Breathing all by myself

So break my
Break my fall with kisses
Don't wake me
Wake me with a sigh
The truth is
Tangled up in this soul
Now my lungs are soaking
And they're wet

I can breathe underwater
I can breathe underwater
I can breathe underwater
Breathing all by myself

Don't worry I'm not drowning
Starting soft and awfully soothing
I'll come up when I'm ready
Breathing all by myself

So break my
Break my fall with
Kisses
Don't wake me
Don't wake me with a sigh
The truth is
Tangled up in this soul
Now my lungs are soaking
And they're wet

The ripples are surfacing
The bubbles are breaking
There's hair floating up from the
Head that's submerged
One hand guides the stone
One sits left and it's skipping
Thumbs take on water and then
Breathing returns

I remember when we were children
I remember everything
What we lost when we were swimming
Always submerged
Always breathing

How Far North - Fitzgerald


Dirt - Fitzgerald

Where Does My Heart Beat Now :: Celine Dion

not many people know this, but i have a secret love for Celine Dion...she is absolutely magical and sometimes, only Celine can move me to tears, not to mention...there are moments in my life that i have found to be unmistakably marked by her music. something terrible or wonderful (usually an extreme emotion attached to an event in time) will happen and a Celine song will pop into my head. today is one of those days...i started my daily routine of finding all my daily necessities...like my backpack, granola bars, books, computer, keys, ipod...wait. where is it? what the fuck did i do w/my ipod? it's not in it's usual space! ok...think, think, think...where did i last have it...i had it when i went to work sunday morning...then i took it off, wrapped the headphones around it, and put it in my bag and went to work. look in your work bag. it's gotta be in there! nope. not there. not. there. at. all. that was the last time i had it. that's the last time i saw my baby. my true love. my everything. [enter random Celine song...] this was the first song that came into my brain as i frantically searched my house to no avail. so, i share my loss with you all on this rainy, windy, cold ass day in the district of columbia...and i share my heartache with the sweet, velvety croonings of ms. dion [if you're nasty].



i've already decided that i must go in search of a much more different ipod, but i will take the day to mourn the loss of the one i shared a relationship with for the last year and a half...i started my graduate program with her and i am so sad she will not see me graduate, but maybe somewhere, somehow, she'll just know...and she'll play the right song for that day and that time and that mood...just for me...she will know what to do, just like celine knows the depths of my sorrow...the end. <3, meggo.







Where Does My Heart Beat Now::Celine Dion



So much to believe in - We were lost in time

Everything I needed

I feel in your eyes

Always tought of keepin-

Your heart next to mine

But now that seems so far away

Don't know how love could leave

Without a trace

Where do silent hearts go?



Where does my heart beat now

Where is the sound

That only echoes through the night

Where does my heart beat now

I can't live without

Without feeling it inside

Where do all the lonely hearts go



Candle in the water - Drifting helplessly

Hiding from the thunder-

Come and rescue me

Driven by hunger -

Of the endless dream



I'm searching for the hand that I can hold

I'm reaching for the arms that let me know

Where do silent hearts go?



Where does my heart beat now

Where is the sound

That only echoes through the night

Where does my heart beat now

I can't live without

Without feeling it inside

Where do all the lonely hearts go

Where do all the lonely hearts go



Then one touch overcomes the silence

Love still survives

Two hearts needing one another

Give me wings to fly



Where does my heart beat now

Where is the sound

That only echoes through the night

Where does my heart beat now

I can't live without

Without feeling it inside



I've got someone to give my heart to

Feel it getting stronger and stronger

And stronger

And I feel inside



Hearts are made to last

Till the end of time

Oh Heavenly Day :: Patty Griffin

there's just something simply wonderful about patty griffin's voice. she has the ability to make me stop whatever it is i am doing and listen. her voice is raw, passionate, sincere...basically i am in love with the way her voice makes me feel...regardless of whatever that emotion may be.

this song is legendary...it is probably even better than the scene in 'ghost' where 'unchained melody' comes on (i don't care if it's a het movie, that scene is still really amazingly beautiful)...at least in the fantasy of my mind, this song reaches those proportions...

in particular, it reminds me of what it feels like to have someone to love. specifically, what it's like to have someone that you'd like to lay around and cuddle with and listen to music all afternoon long...it's having that one someone that you are perfectly content with being in the same room and not having to say anything to know what the two of you feel for each other...when enough words to fill a million sociology textbook is expressed in a casual brushing of hands, or a glance across the room...

this song makes me want all of that. it makes me wanna dance around the room and be romantical. yes, i just said romantical. i'm an academic so i reserve the right to make up words.

anyway, this woman rocks my heartstrings. hopefully she will do the same for you.

word to your mother.
meggo



Oh Heavenly Day::Patty Griffin

All the clouds blew away
Got no trouble today
With anyone

The smile on your face
I live only to see
It's enough for me baby
It's enough for me
Oh heavenly day
Heavenly day
Heavenly day

Tomorrow may rain with sorrow
Here's a little time we can borrow
Forget all our troubles in these moments so few
Oh we can right now the only thing that all that we really have to do

Is have ourselves a heavenly day
Lay here and watch the trees sway
Oh can't see no other way
No way
No way
Heavenly day heavenly day heavenly day

No one on my shoulder
Bringing me fears
Got no clouds up above me
Bringing me tears
Got nothing to tell you
I got nothing much to say
Only I'm glad to be here with you
On this heavenly heavenly heavenly heavenly heavenly day
Oh all the troubles gone away
Oh for awhile anyway
For awhile anyway
Heavenly day
Heavenly day
Heavenly day
Heavenly day
Heavenly day
Oh heavenly day

lover i don't have to love :: bright eyes

i was first introduced to bright eyes a little over a year ago by my friend ben. but this is really the only song that i've been exposed to, well, the only one that's been sorta stuck in my head by them. anyway, it's a great melancholy song about love and hurt and loving and hurting...you get the point.

anyway, i came across this song again on christmas when i was reading this blog. since then, i have come back to it over and over again.

i like it for a lot of reasons, but especially because it's rather ambiguous as to whether it's a boy/girl the singer is singing about at first, but then goes into being about both...yay! the song starts out by talking about how this person hooks up with someone randomly just to have physical contact with another person...but also maybe to forget someone they love...or other parts of life that might suck at the moment. toward the end, it goes into a discussion about love and how, although we run the risk of being hurt badly, we do it anyway....it's sorta masochistic i guess...

this last part is what i've been thinking about lately...about love and relationships and how we end up inevitably hurting/getting hurt by the people we say we love the most...and how even though we hurt and get hurt, we still love no matter what...but the reasons we are hurt is because of said 'love'...it seems viciously cyclical and pessimistic. whoops! perhaps i shouldn't listen to this song, but i can't help myself. since i'm not really pursuing love or relationships at the moment, i figure it's ok that this song happens to be my drug of choice for the moment, instead of potentially hurting or getting hurt...even though i'd probably jump right back into love if it presented itself....

favorite lyrics:

Love's an excuse to get hurt
And to hurt.
Do you like to hurt?
I do, I do

Then hurt me...



lover i don't have to love::bright eyes

I picked you out of a crowd and talked to you
I said I liked your shoes
You said, "Thanks, can I follow you?"
So it's up the stairs and out of view
No prying eyes
I poured some wine
I asked your name, you asked the time

Now it's two o'clock
The club is closed
We're up the block
Your hands on me; Pressing hard against your jeans
Your tongue in my mouth, trying to keep the words from coming out
You didn't care to know who else may have been you before

I want a lover I don't have to love
I want a girl who's too sad to give a fuck
Where's the kid with the chemicals?
I thought he said to meet him here but I'm not sure
I've got the money if you've got the time
You said it feels good
I said, "I'll give it a try."

Then my mind went dark
We both forgot where your car was parked
Let's just take the train
I'll meet up with the band in the morning

Bad actors with bad habits
Some sad singers they just play tragic
And the phone's ringing and the van's leaving
Let's just keep touching; let's just keep... keep singing...

I want a lover I don't have to love
I want a boy who's so drunk he doesn't talk
Where's the kid with the chemicals?
I've got a hunger and I can't seem to get full
I need some meaning I can memorize
The kind I have always seems to slip my mind

But you, but you...

You write such pretty words
But life's no storybook
Love's an excuse to get hurt
And to hurt.
Do you like to hurt?
I do, I do

Then hurt me...

on a lighter note.... :D (in case this song was too depressing...)

Born on a Train :: Magnetic Fields

I blundered across Magnetic Fields one day last summer, and I was instantly hooked.

This is a song about someone who just can't... stay put? I don't know. Maybe it's about someone who's never really satisfied. One thing I love about Magnetic Fields songs is that they don't sugar-coat anything. People are shitty to each other. People hurt each other, people are vicious. Sometimes things aren't equal or even. And sometimes love isn't good, it's just shitty and hurtful. So, is that love at all? I dunno.

Favorite lines:

And I've been making promises I know I'll never keep-
One of these days, I'm gonna leave you in your sleep.
--------
I know that you were never young,
And I know you probably won't get old.
But honey, nobody's gonna hurt you anymore.
And nobody's gonna make you wanna die.




Some roads are only seen at night.
Ghost roads, nothing but neon signs.
But some nights the neon gas gets free-
Turns into walking dead like me.

And I've been makin' promises I know I'll never keep.
One of these days I'm gonna leave you in your sleep.
I have to go when the whistle blows-
The whistle knows my name.
Baby, I was born on a train.

I know that you were never young,
And I know you probably won't get old.
But honey, nobody's gonna hurt you anymore.
And nobody's gonna make you wanna die.

But I've been makin' promises I know I'll never keep.
One of these days I'm gonna leave you in your sleep.
I have to go when the whistle blows-
The whistle knows my name.
Baby, I was born on a train.

I'll go one cold and gray morning.
And you won't remember anything.
But some people don't believe in time.
And some of us don't believe in life.

But I've been makin' promises I know I'll never keep.
One of these days I'm gonna leave you in your sleep.
I have to go when the whistle blows-
The whistle knows my name.
Baby, I was born on a train...

Baby, I was born on a train...

Burning Bridges :: Chris Pureka

i first heard this song about a year ago and immediately fell in love with chris pureka's voice and her guitar playing. the chord progression and the way she strums and sings tugs at my heart strings. although this was the first song of hers that i heard, i didn't really pay much attention to it until recently. it's off her album 'driving north', which also features my most favorite song 'silo song'.
this particular song caught my attention recently because of the lyrics:

well you can't just pass along
the pain that comes around
you'll go dizzy until you fall

this song is about serious heartache, hurt, dealing and healing. i think the reason why i gravitated toward this song to write about today is because yesterday i realized that, no matter how far i think i've come in my 'getting over you' phase, i am still hurting. it's not an everyday kind of hurt that lingers all day long...but it's more of a pain that is just as acute but acts more like a really bad sliver or a hang nail that you can't get rid of, but can tolerate most of the time if you just don't think about it too much. anyway, that's what this song does for me...it articulates that annoying pang of heartache.

i couldn't find any decent audio clips or full videos of the song, but this is the best one i have come across...it's a nice, private, house concert...which is nice b/c chris pureka is best appreciated when heard live...and well, this will sorta be a quasi-live song for you...enjoy!




burning bridges::chris pureka

This is a story of burning bridges
and allowing time to pass
this is a story of forgiveness
and breaking things in my hands
this is a story of understanding
you can't choose who you love
and this is a story of soft skin
and rats in the walls

well you can't just pass along
the pain that comes around
you'll go dizzy until you fall
and I know you didn't mean to let me down
but you let me down so hard

this is a story of loaded glances
and leaning in too far
this is a story of vague advances
and confessions in smoky bars
so now I am walking down the sidewalk
and I am singing to myself
and I'm going to leave it all behind me now
'cause I don't need this,
I just don't need this

and you can't just pass along
the pain that comes around
you'll go dizzy until you fall
and I know you didn't mean to let me down
but you let me down so hard

these memories are talking and talking
and I'll do anything to shut 'em up
I've got the pillow over my head
but they won't stop
no, no they won't stop

some fantasies are never meant to be
realized at all
and some regrets could be prevented
if you read that writing on the wall
oh and sometimes you say "you know nothing can happen"
and then she leans over and lifts off your glasses
and the next thing you know you're just tangled and guilty
and you've got a head full of liquor and perfume
and when did you leave me
and when did you find her
and tell me is this just what you wanted...
and when did you leave me
and when did you find her
and tell me is this just what you wanted...

This is a story of burning bridges
and allowing time to pass
this is a story of forgiveness
and breaking things in my hands
this is a story of understanding
you can't choose who you love
and this is a story of soft skin
and rats in the walls

Foundations :: Kate Nash

I just heard this song on Saturday night, and I like it a lot! Kate Nash sounds a little like Lily Allen, but sharper. I like how she describes the push-and-pull of relating to your partner. Knowing that you're falling apart makes you cling on even tighter, like holding on to a breaking foundation of a house that is crumbling.




Thursday night, everything's fine, except you've got that look in your eye
When I'm tellin' a story and you find it boring,
You're thinking of something to say.
You'll go along with it then drop it and humiliate me infront of our friends.

Then I'll use that voice that you find annoyin' and say something like
"yeah, intelligant imput, darlin', why don't you just have another beer then?"

Then you'll call me a bitch
And everyone we're with will be ebarrased,
And I wont give a shit.

My finger tips are holding onto the cracks in our foundation,
And I know that I should let go,
But I can't.
And everytime we fight I know it's not right,
Everytime that you're upset and I smile.
I know I should forget, but I can't.

You said I must eat so many lemons
'cause I am so bitter.
I said
"I'd rather be with your friends mate 'cause they are much fitter."

Yes, it was childish and you got agressive,
And I must admit that I was a bit scared,
But it gives me thrills to wind you up.

My finger tips are holding onto the cracks in our foundation,
And I know that I should let go,
But I can't.
And everytime we fight I know it's not right,
Everytime that you're upset and I smile.
I know I should forget, but I can't.

Your face is pasty 'cause you've gone and got so wasted, what a suprise.
Don't want to look at your face 'cause it's makin' me sick.
You've gone and got sick on my trainers,
I only got these yesterday.
Oh, my gosh, I cannot be bothered with this.

Well, I'll leave you there 'til the mornin',
And I purposly wont turn the heating on
And dear God, I hope I'm not stuck with this one.

My finger tips are holding onto the cracks in our foundation,
And I know that I should let go,
But I can't.
And everytime we fight I know it's not right,
Everytime that you're upset and I smile.
I know I should forget, but I can't.

X2

And everytime we fight I know it's not right,
Everytime that you're upset and I smile.
I know I should forget, but I can't

Understood :: Garrison Starr

First... I want to say that I was so excited to when Meggo asked me to be a guest writer for this Blog. I am music nut and am always on the look out for the unknown amazing musician and this Blog is right up my alley.

I have chosen to Blog about the song “Understood” by Garrison Starr from her new album “The Girl that Killed September”. I just got her CD last week and have been playing it to death. I must say that it is not as good as her previous studio album “Sound of You and Me” which may be my all time favorite.

I have chosen this song because it speaks to me and where I am at right now in my life. I am mending my heart. I recently ended my relationship of 3 ½ years and am trying find closure with that decision. It was the hardest thing - to walk away from someone that you love and care deeply for, to take care of yourself especially when they are dependent on you. My ex-partner is an amazing musician (you can check her out here) and I was there when she started her musical career and supported her through it all. It became and part of me and who I was, so even when the relationship became unhealthy for me, she was still the love of my life for many reasons. To this day and probably for many to come, the loss of her music and all things associated with her have left me with a huge void. I believe that this song demonstrates how you can see that something is not good for you yet you still feel you need it and how hard it is to pull away to take care of your self. Favorite line:

The sign says we’re condemned
but I can’t live without that fire we lit.

I also want to Blog about this song because of the kick-ass video directed by Margret Cho. You will definitely enjoy the Superwoman and Chewy characters.




........

“Understood”

only one way through the doorway
here hoping, waiting all day

there’s a small dog in a big fight
it’s a hustle but he’s not afraid to bite
we’re a far cry from the start now
the words are so clear in my head
but the words won’t come out

all the good we ever had
i need you

a headliner and a long telephone call
a lover’s voice and a secret language
scribbled on the wall
in the city love is spoken
a heart is open
but it’s too perfect to be true

all the good we ever had
i need you

this house is a shell
there’s no one left here inside it
The sign says we’re condemned
but I can’t live without that fire we lit

all the good….

No One :: Alicia Keys

so, this song goes out to me. i've recently felt really in love with myself. not in that self-absorbed, narcissistic way. but more of that, 'wow. i really like who i am and where i've come from, and who i've become, and who i'm growing into' sort of way. i'm really happy everyone! i really didn't think i'd be able to come out of that space where i walked around feeling hallow and like my heart was so heavy it sunk to my feet.

today has not been like this however. today rocked. for a few reasons: the apt hunt is going smoothly and i think me and my new roommate are gonna find a sweet home soon; i got a good review from my prof. on my book review that i wrote; i pondered a friends revelation that relationships are a lot of work and sometimes it's more than it's worth to stay in them; i wrote a sweet proposal for a paper that i'm presenting at a conference in february (that is a chapter of my thesis)...the list goes on. i had a great day today. but mostly because i was pondering a lot about what my friend was saying about relationships and why they end and how we deal, and i realized something...a couple of things.

first: relationships do take a lot of work and sometimes it can be easy to get caught up in doing the work to keep the relationship afloat so that you forget what it is that you're actually working for. i did this w/the lady. it's not that i didn't love her or anything like that...but i worked really hard to make our relationship work. we both did. it became a lot of work to keep us connected, to keep us close. it was super easy to romanticize how great the relationship was from afar because when we did get to see each other, it was usually good b/c of the anticipation that came with the month in between each visit. this sort of situation can be misleading. it can make you loose focus and sight and, more importantly, yourself - what's best for you, your partner, the relationship, etc. i did this. i put my partner and my relationship ahead of what was best for me and in doing so, i damaged it all...myself, the relationship, my partner. in order for a relationship to be healthy, all parties need to do what is best for each other, themselves, and their relationship. this is hard to do...it's a balancing act. there are times where you have to give more to one than the other, where you have to take less...but at the end of the day, if you can't stand firmly on your own two feet and feel ok where you're at, something is wrong. which leads me to my next point...

second: you gotta love yourself. seems pretty basic, i know...but it's true. if you can love yourself, you can't lose yourself. this is what i've learned. i've really been diggin on myself lately. throughout this entire grieving process of breaking up, i feel like i've done relatively well (it helps to have friends saying i'm doing well too...). i was a wreck when it first happened...i didn't know what to do with myself.
but now, after a lot of processing and talking and distracting myself from time to time with other things...i think i really like who i am now a lot better than who i was when i was in a relationship. i stopped doing things that made me happy, i stopped thinking about what it was that i wanted, and did things that were good for the lady and our relationship...i would freak out if things were going poorly for our relationship...now that i think about it, i spent a lot of time being paranoid that something would put our relationship in jeopardy...i stopped caring about myself in the way that would have been able to give me the self-confidence and security necessary to be stable in a relationship. i don't want to lose sight of this new-found clarity that i've happened upon.

so, i am taking this song and dedicating it to myself. for those of you who are more visual, picture me singing this song into the mirror. i am singing it to myself....as a reminder to stay true to myself, to not lose sight of who i am and all that i've been through, how far i've come, to become the person i am today...

this post is ungodly long, but i just had to!!! here you go:

no one::alicia keys

I just want you close
Where you can stay forever
You can be sure
That it will only get better
You and me together
Through the days and nights
I don't worry 'cuz
Everythings gonna be alright
People keep talking
They can say what they like
But all I know is everything's gonna be alright

No one no one no one
Can get in the way of what I'm feeling
No one no one no one
Can get in the way of what I feel for you
You you
Can get in the way of what I feel for you

When the rain is pouring down
And my heart is hurting
You will always be around
This I know for certain

You and me together
Through the days and nights

I don't worry cause
Everythings gonna be alright
People keep talking
They can say what they like
But all I know is everything's gonna be alright

No one no one no one
Can get in the way of what I'm feeling
No one no one no one
Can get in the way of what I feel for you
You you
Can get in the way of what I feel

I know some people search the world
To find something like what we have
I know people will try
Try to divide
Something so real
So till the end of time
I'm telling you that

No one no one no one
Can get in the way of what I'm feeling
No one no one no one
Can get in the way of what I feel for you
Oh oh oh...

sidenote: youtube is hilarious and you can find people singing to themselves too! this guy is actually pretty good...i liked it.


or you can find sweet little munchkins like this one...she makes me want babies bad one day.

Where Does The Good Go :: Tegan and Sara

OK, so I know Meghan just posted a song by Tegan and Sara a few days ago and I know that there are millions of songs out there that I could post instead of this one, in the interest of musical diversity. But friends, I am absolutely and wholly obsessed. I went to Tegan and Sara's Columbus, OH concert this past Monday night and had fantastic time. Not only was Northern State (See Brenda's earlier blog entry) the opener, but the show was at the Newport, a historic rock hall in Cbus and it was PACKED with hundreds of screaming lesbians and Chuck Taylor-sporting emo guys. At any rate, while I knew a few Tegan and Sara songs prior to Monday, I was not entirely familiar with much of their music, so I spent some time Monday afternoon "prepping" myself for the big night.

While sitting in my cubicle at OSU and cruising the internet for free music, I came across this live performance of Tegan and Sara's song, "Where Does the Good Go." The performance is entirely acoustic - no mics even, but the video is steady and the sound is good. After hearing this version, I went hunting for the original electric version of the song, which although also fantastic, I don't like as well as this particular unplugged take. The video of the song, found at is also great because it includes some quirky commentary by the ladies themselves - before (and during - haha) the song. I love it. Check the harmonies. Tight as hell. Plus, it's an awesome break-up song :-)

Link to the video:

"Where Does the Good Go"
Where do you go with your broken heart in tow
What do you do with the left over you
And how do you know, when to let go
Where does the good go, where does the good go

Look me in the eye and tell me you don't find me attractive
Look me in the heart and tell me you won't go
Look me in the eye and promise no love's like our love
Look me in the heart and unbreak broken, it won't happen

It's love that leaves and breaks the seal of always thinking you would be
Real, happy and healthy, strong and calm, where does the good go
Where does the good go

Where do you go when you're in love and the world knows
How do you live so happily while I am sad and broken down
What do you say it's up for grabs now that you're on your way down
Where does the good go, where does the good go

Peace out,
Sumnah

Call It Off :: Tegan & Sara

ok friends...this is another relationship blog, but come on...so much of my old music reminds me of my ex (the lady) and our relationship, so i figure the only way i'm gonna get through this is to just blog about the new music i've been listening to that has been helping me get over it, right?

so, back to how i'm super impatient and like to just make things better right NOW...

like i was saying last week, i've realized i can't be like this anymore. it's not healthy, nor is it right. heartache takes time to heal and so i've just go to stop rushing and let everything take its course. since i've been slowing down, i've realized that it's probably best to just cut off all ties and move on and take care of myself. this is something that's not very easy for me. i have a hard time letting go like this for a couple of reasons. first, because it's hard to just cut someone out of your life after they've been such a constant and significant presence for so many years. and second, because i second guess myself. i second guess whether or not i made the right choice...

enter: tegan & sara.

they have a new album out (the con) and it's probably my most favorite cd they've put outthus far. it has a decent flow to it, it's catchy, it makes me want to be in pop-rock band. this particular song (call it off) has been dear to me because it, in my opinion, captures the struggles of making difficult decisions as mentioned above.

the song is short, sweet, and rockin...and is all about what i was just talking about earlier. i really enjoy it and i feel that tegan & sara have really captured what your heart feels like when you're about to make such a difficult life choice. the guitar part is fast paced, and if you listen carefully, you'll hear the notes going back and forth from low to high, rapidly, sort of mimicking what one's heart does when facing a fork in the road. it sort of makes me feel a little anxious if i just listen to the guitar part, but then they bring you right back to where you need to be with the lyrics - thus making you grounded, but not without emotion. you feel like an emotional rollercoaster, but it's ok...it's normal. it's all a process, right?

anyway, take a look at this video/audio clip i got from youtube.com. it's sort of a weird video, but i wasn't able to find any decent clips of them playing this song. so, if it's too creepy, just listen and read along w/the lyrics.

Call It Off::Tegan & Sara

i won't regret saying this

this thing that i'm saying

is it better than keepin my mouth shut?

that goes without saying

call break it off

call break my own heart

maybe i would've been somethin you'd be good at

maybe you would've been somethin i'd be good at

but now we'll never know

i won't be sad

but in case i go there

everyday, to make myself feel bad there's a chance

i start to wonder if this was the thing to do

i won't be out long

but i still think it better if

you take your time coming over here

i think that's for the best

call break it off

call break my own heart

maybe i would've been somethin you'd be good at

maybe you would've been somethin i'd be good at

but now we'll never know

i won't be sad

but in case i go there

everyday, to make myself feel bad there's a chance

i start to wonder if this was the thing to do

i start to wonder if this was the thing to do

Better Already :: Northern State

I'm not super familiar with Northern State, other than they are hip-hop-ish and they are cool. My friend Kelly sent me the video for this song and she said it reminded her of me... was it the s'mores? the unicorns? or the super-gay rainbows and lightning bolts? Or maybe it's been all the shit we've had to go through just to ride the Friend-Ship together.

Or it could be my ten-month journey to recovering from a identity-shattering breakup. After all the b.s. I went through, I didn't even know who I was anymore. I felt about 90 years old, and I finally had to admit to myself and my friends that I could no longer take care of myself. They pulled me up, dragged me out, introduced me to people, and made me laugh when all I wanted to do was die. I dedicated my life at that point to getting "better": I took the summer off, went camping, spent a week in DC, and really began to live for the first time in my life.

Here's the video, it's super zany:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nBVt5Hlgyuk






We don't have to leave the living room to have a good time-
Everywhere we go- people want to know-
We don't have to leave the living room to have a good time�K

Get ready, already, no time to waste
No matter what we do it's still the case
We're stuck in one place
Like I'm standing on your shoelace
We come face to face or
Stand back to back
We trick the train to stay on track

And we don't have to leave the living room to have a good time!

We going way out- now
We gonna head down- now
Singing hey now-
Call when you're on my block
at the end of your luck so-

we getting on we getting better already
the truth be told you're know we're better already
uh oh oh uh oh oh oh
we getting on we getting better already

gotta get out of my own way so I could go my own way
say what I wanna say on audio delay
move my mouth and throw my voice
retrace my steps, my choice, my plan
begin again where we began

And we don't have to leave the living room to have a good time!

We going way out- now
We gonna head down- now
Singing hey now-
Call when you're on my block
at the end of your luck so-

we getting on we getting better already
the truth be told you know we're better already
uh oh oh uh oh oh oh
we getting on we getting better already

Hey! Hey!

Deep water, deep cracks, deep holes and deep creases
Deep sleeping dreams of broken pieces
Pick them up and make them fit
Quit or don't quit. Get even, some new shit can you believe in.

we getting on we getting better already
the truth be told you know we're better already
uh oh oh uh oh oh oh
we getting on we getting better already (x2)

We don't have to leave the living room to have a good time-
Everywhere we go- people want to know-
We don't have to leave the living room to have a good time�K

Your Ex-Lover is Dead :: Stars

I was introduced to the band Stars earlier this semester, and I thought I'd continue the relationship theme that we've got going so far this week. This song is the first Stars song I had ever heard, and basically what happens is that these two people who were together a long time ago get introduced to each other through friends of friends and end up sharing a cab. The song as a whole is beautiful, but the last verse has some really beautiful lyrics. If you like the song, I suggest listening to Stars latest album, In Our Bedroom After the War. I'll probably be blogging about songs from that album sometime in the near-ish future either way.

I'm posting the music video for it, so enjoy!



"Your Ex-Lover Is Dead"

God that was strange to see you again
Introduced by a friend of a friend
Smiled and said 'yes I think we've met before'
In that instant it started to pour,
Captured a taxi despite all the rain
We drove in silence across Pont Champlain
And all of the time you thought I was sad
I was trying to remember your name...

This scar is a fleck on my porcelain skin
Tried to reach deep but you couldn't get in
Now you're outside me
You see all the beauty
Repent all your sin

It's nothing but time and a face that you lose
I chose to feel it and you couldn't choose
I'll write you a postcard
I'll send you the news
From a house down the road from real love...

Live through this, and you won't look back...
Live through this, and you won't look back...
Live through this, and you won't look back...

There's one thing I want to say, so I'll be brave
You were what I wanted
I gave what I gave
I'm not sorry I met you
I'm not sorry it's over
I'm not sorry there's nothing to save
I'm not sorry there's nothing to save...

Time Will Do The Talking :: Patty Griffin

i am a very impatient person when it comes to a lot of things: eating, reading, travelling, waiting...resolution...healing. during this entire break up process (yes, this is another blog about my relationship/break up...i'm sorry!), i have noticed myself rushing though my emotions. one minute, i'll be so terribly sad and feeling devastated, and the next i am forcing myself to not feel that way by distracting myself with surfing the internet, going out, watching movies/tv, talking to friends on the phone (for some reason, everything but my homework). i don't like this feeling. i don't like that it is taking me, what seems like, FOREVER. in reality, it will only have been 2 months this coming sunday after thanksgiving. i'd like to think that i am doing pretty well, respectively. but these last 2 months have certainly been an emotional roller coaster, and the biggest thing i keep coming back to is time. time and space. i need both of them. desperately. i have been trying to take one day at a time and to breathe, and just try to deal as best i can by doing what i feel to be best for me.

this is all excellent advice given to me by my friends and families...and by patty griffin.

this woman is amazing. i have loved her voice since i first heard her my senior year of college. i believe one of my professors told me about her and let me burn a copy of one of her cds. (sidenote: i feel like this is something that could only happen at Luther College...) anyway, it's also a song that i finally can play on the guitar and sorta sing it at the same time...so this is an amazing feat in and of itself!

anyway, the song is raw. it's real. it's honest. it's so true. i feel like this song is expressing a common lesson learned when going through the end of a relationship. i'll let you decide for yourself though...

Time Will Do The Talking::Patty Griffin

You were so cruel
I hated being your fool
So I got a little bit more mud on my face
But the years will bring a bigger scheme of things
And make a pretty memory out of my disgrace
I don't believe there is such a thing as saying too much
There are those who like to look and
Those who ain't afraid to touch

Oh baby don't you know that
Time will do the talking
Years will do the walking
I'll just find a comfy spot and wait it out
Time will do the talking
Years will do the walking
Time will tell you baby what you can't hear now

Well we dig our heels in
And wonder who's gonna win this
Who is gonna win it or wear it out
I change the locks on the door
I learn how to take a little more
I can outrun all of the devils there
But never the doubt
Try not to throw all your money into 20/20 vision
For the world won't wait on politics or indecision

Oh baby don't you know that
Time will do the talking
Years will do the walking
I'll just find a comfy spot and wait it out
Time will do the talking
Years will do the walking
Time will tell you baby what you can't hear now

Can you hear the voice inside you
Yeah it calls you back to where you belong
Oh no, can you see the one beside you
Who's been standin' there all along
Baby, well you were so cruel
I hated being your fool
So I got a little bit more
Mud on my face
But the years will bring
The bigger scheme of things
And make a pretty memory out of my disgrace

Only time will do the talking
Years will do the walking
I'll just find a comfy spot and wait it out
Time will do the talking
Years will do the walking
Time will tell you baby what you can't hear now
Time will tell you baby what you can't hear now
Time will tell you baby what you can't hear now